Cat in the Cradle By The Dream Weaver

http://ofallon.patch.com/blog_posts/its-a-bird-its-a-train-no-its-pujols-on-a-plane

Above is the link to my latest publication  for The Patch.

“It’s crazy how I feel this way, I can’t explain, please don’t go away.” –Buckcherry

Say what you want about rock n’ roll but it has wisdom.    We are all in sales.  We all want another to buy or make a donation, to want our service, to be NEEDED.   We are all seeking contribution when we should be focused on giving it out.   

I went to the Buckcherry concert recently and jammed out in the 3^rd row!  I thought for sure I would be deaf the next day so I really made a point to relish in the moment, knowing it may be the final time I hear the beauty of the spoken word, although I use “spoken” here very loosely.  

Mr. Buckcherry has a tattoo on his mid-section that says “CHAOS.”  I think it’s appropriate for him.   I made friends at the concert with 2 girls who said he “propositioned” them and asked to go backstage at his last concert in St. Louis.   He was “wanting” them and they declined yet they were back in the 3^rd row again this night.   In life, we have to separate fantasy from reality.  After living in both myself, reality is so much better.   I love Buckcherry music but I don’t love him.   I can separate the two.  And though it may be dangerous, it is a line I am willing to cross.   What is your line?  Are your standards high enough to turn down fantasy? 

Coming from CONTRIBUTION is a guaranteed way to not be disappointed.    People want, want, want and we think fulfillment is always within our grasp.  For Buckcherry, it is that next pretty girl.  When you just “want” for yourself you encounter chaos like Buckcherry.  If you give, give, give then you will attract people, including your prospects.   They will want to be around you and eventually want YOU to hit your goals.   At our core, people are good, but we get distracted by the desire of high achievement, more of this or that until we lose the very foundation we worked so hard for.  

The World Series was awesome but the next week people were talking like, “now we have to defend it next year to prove it wasn’t a fluke!” We are rarely content, joyful, or fulfilled and it is because we are not “coming from contribution.“   Cardinals Manager, Tony Larussa, quits even before the champagne turns warm.   Our “franchise guy” Albert Pujols took a plane out of Lambert this morning, presumably for a “job interview.”   As everyone knows $200 million doesn’t go very far with our standard of living in The Lou.  

Don’t count on a World Series or some doctor to give you a body transformation to give you fulfillment.   There is a huge difference between pretty and beautiful.   Pretty is outside like shingles on a house.  Beauty is the inside rooms filled with new furniture, a loved teddy bear on a bed, and a warm Thanksgiving dinner on the table. There is a huge difference between what you want to have and what you need to survive.    It is the simple things that we truly need.   The smile of a friend.  The unconditional love of a child.  The warmth and security of a home.   Try “coming from contribution” this week.   Be slow to anger.  Embrace chaos.   Enjoy being World Champions!!

Abundantly Yours,

~Kyle Weaver

as Published in The Patch http://ofallon.patch.com/blog_posts/runners-dont-let-rain-get-in-their-beer

Runners Don’t Let Rain Get in Their Beer  _{BY Kyle Weaver}

     What are runners thinking?   They sacrifice their body and their time as they pound their joints at the gym or on hot asphalt until they reach this climax called Race Day.   Could all the relentless training and pain endured REALLY be worth it?  

     The O’Fallon Firecracker 5k/10k shot off July 4th@ 7am, and I was late driving in my car rushing to my sponsorship table.   Normally on aHoliday I wouldn’t be attending a “race day,” but I’m interested in a demographic that’s given the same 24 hrs/day and yet smoke bombs the excuses we all hold so dear.   Stuff like, “I have to be at work in the morning,” “My back hurts,” “I’m too old,” fill in your own excuse, right? 

     What person is willing or even DESIRES to endure blood blisters and certain exhaustion in the early hours before most of us have our contacts lenses in?    I didn’t see any blood or tears on this Independence Day, but I witnessed love and the sweaty faces of 500+ runners.  Each one crossing the finish line (actually in Rascals Stadium!) with the joy and exhilaration of a loved one coming home from overseas.  

      They say love doesn’t last.   But I met a married couple that finished the 5k together.   I’m pretty sure with their mutual support and positive attitude they will endure every finish line together stride for stride… as long as he remembers to let her win! 

       You want to meet an amazing person, go to a 5k race… BUT DON’T BE SHY.  They are not a casual lot.   They kick their own ass everyday in their jobs and in their life, they run in heat, dark of night, snow, rain, and sleet.   And like our beloved U.S. Mail Carriers, they ALWAYS deliver.  

      They are cool and attractive, not just physically but they are captivating and clearly trying to make either their own world better or a better place for all of us.   They race against mediocrity and laziness, humbly crossing the bridge into Excellence.   They raise money for the hurt, the weak, and those that can’t protect themselves.  I’m proud to sponsor them with my USA Mortgage banner.  One day I may go toe to toe on the starting line against them for undoubtedly a worthy cause, but until that day just consider me a FAN.

      They are inspired and thus become inspiring.    Francis Scott Key (not a noted 5k runner- although internet race results were sketchy back then) was inspired when he saw OUR FLAG still waiving in the distance after a crucial battle in American history.  He wrote the National Anthem in those VERY MOMENTS.   Life is made of tender and sweet moments like that.    History is made by PEOPLE like that.

      One of our local marketing gurus, Michelle Nelson (Back 2 Basics) was there as a runner.  She told me she wanted to make my marketing “kick ass.”  Don’t we all want to “kick ass?”  When someone with 4,954 friends on Facebook tells you she wants YOU to kick ass (and she’s beautiful), you’re kind of forced to stand at attention.  

Another lady had just had a baby and she finished her first 5k since giving birth 2 months ago.   She was positive and upbeat and just so happy to finish and accomplish her goal.  It reminded me of a 5k Sponsor, Fit Mommy’s (same name under Facebook), they help women get their bodies “back” and offer a wide range of health products to help live and train better.   This new mom and everyone was so happy as they finished the race and collectively and patiently filed into the “Runners Only” area to consume traditional runner fare of bananas and energy drinks.  

Recent times have broadened the post-race menu items to include; cookies, chocolate, and even BEER!   Thanks to awesome K’s Grill (Randy and Lisa) for supplying the cerveza for some much needed nutritional replenishment.    K’s Grill said 2.5 kegs were consumed, part of which I shared in but only for reasons benefitting this article.   Chick Fil-A donated hundreds of kick ass sandwiches for the race.  

Other notables in attendance… Sarah, fitness coordinator with YMCA, helped to facilitate with the O’Fallon Chamber to make the event a great success.   Real Estate guru, Will Klein (Keller Williams), actuallyhad a Purchase Contract delivered to him at the race!  I mean, don’t these people ever rest or take a breath (no pun intended)?? 

     It’s not work when you love it.  It’s not pain when you embrace it like it has purpose.   It may not have been the goal or intent of the race, but I was reminded today from many of you of a simple message…Love others as He loved us.   

P.s. Special thanks to McBride Homes for not towing my Impala as I parked illegally at your development so I could attend today’s race.  Happy 4^th!

Your Friend in Real Estate,

Kyle D. Weaver 636-399-1692,

kyle@kylehaslowrates.com

http://kyletheloanguy.blog.com/

What’s worse than finding out there is a Memorial Golf  Tournment with your exact name?   Finding out you missed the Inaugural one!    I googled myself under “Kyle Weaver blog” and sure enough…I’m dead.   Apparently a bunch of friends of mine in California took the time to create a golf tourney to celebrate my life.     Not sure how I die and don’t want to find out!   Would you??

I did ”friend” a model once on Facebook who was from CA.   Was it her who took the initiative?   I knew she wanted me!Either way..I don’t want to know how I “went out,” so I refuse to read into it too much.  I have attached the flyer and let’s face it…I was HOT!  

I miss you all.  I miss the small things like the chaos of children running around crazy.   Ahhh, to have the peace of a warm summer night just ONCE MORE.   I miss new clients and new friends, and doing a job well done.   Of course my 2 girls…you were my breath.  Please be wise and not petty.   I miss the pools and ice cream smiles from my own kids and those of friends.  I miss the challenge of aspiring for something great and admiring greatness in others.   I miss the unseen perfection in all our lives.  I wish I appreciated it more when I was ALIVE. 

I wish I could have stayed.  There was more to do.   I wish I would have slept less and appreciated the sunrise more.   I wish I would have made more people happy.  Like that girl at McDonald’s who messed up my food order.  I wish I would have been more patient with her, teaching her LOVE and acceptance of imperfection.   I wish I would have invited more people to church.   I wish I would have just invited more people anywhere.  I wish I would have played it a little safer and avoided the need for a Memorial Tournament, if it were possible.   

I wish love to you from up here.   I wish you to live like your name will be on a flyer next year, next week, even tomorrow.    Flyers are easy to make.   Great lives are hard to live.    Live on but don’t forget me.    May you roll with the punches and fight the devil into his corner until submission…  

Love Always,

Kyle Weaver, Mortgage Loan Officer, USA Mortgage, 636-399-1692 kyle@kylehaslowrates.com

210 Triad West * O’Fallon, MO 63366 * NMLS 235637 MO: 1639 MLO

     The loan business is very good right now. At times, I have people shake their heads in sympathy when I tell them I am a loan officer.  There are hard times in this industry for sure (foreclosures, banks going under, etc) but it’s not like being 19 and trying to break into the country music scene.  Speaking of which, I witnessed some great live music at St. Charles Coffee House, www.myspace.com/nicoledawnmusic and this girl sounded really good. Check it out if you get a chance. She is a St. Louis girl.

     In every industry and walk of life there are people that excel and people that fail. I live for positive feedback and truly grateful clients. I live for the positive text message, the thank you card, or the invitation to the House Party. But that doesn’t happen everyday. Sometimes parades get rained on and my valuable clients don’t get what they want, and it hurts me. At times, they have to wait for another day (or year) The true crux of life for many of us is the late hours, the client who wants answers NOW when all there are is more questions, bosses who might make you work overtime and not get paid for it.  That product that you create or that thing that you sell…it has to be perfect. It has to fill a need and it has to add value to someone’s life, it has to move them.  

     Don’t just go for the “Yes,” go for the ”Hot Damn!”  When customers call they don’t want voicemail, you have to BE THERE, showing up is half the battle.  They pay for your voice, your energy, your solution, DON’T LET THEM DOWN.
The Loan Business is made up of a lot people and a lot of companies. I had a really smart client once that asked me a question that showed she had comprehension. Prior to retaining myself as her loan officer, she asked if I had a vacation planned or if I would have any reason for not giving her the best service possible during the course of this loan process. You see, getting a loan or buying something is not always about the rate or price. It’s about the x-factor.  It’s about answering the e-mail at 11pm, sitting down to understand your client’s needs, going the extra mile.      

     I don’t know what it is YOU do. But I know that if you do not have the x-factor, there is someone who is better at delivering it. I find the times when I don’t have the x-factor is when I am consumed by non-urgent/ not important issues or concerns. We all have these things that cause distraction and have no purpose. If you want awesome success and to never worry about money again. Than do this. Eliminate waste from your life.   Trim the fat. Avoid the people, the addictions, the superfluous from your life. That is the crap of your life and it belongs in the toilet. 

     The Loan Business is great. Rates are low and houses are cheap. When the loan business is “bad” it is really that I am “bad” and not the industry. I heard a guy being interviewed by the news one day on his front porch and he said “the economy was really hurting him”. He was on his porch at 2pm in the afternoon!!  The news crew (as they often do) went through the neighborhood looking for bad news. Everyone else on the guy’s street was AT WORK.
If you need help with your House Financing needs or just a kick in pants call Kyle Weaver 636-399-1692 , Sr. Mortgage Advisor

    ”This one’s for the girls, who’ve ever had a broken heart, who’ve wished upon a shooting star, you’re beautiful the way you are…” – Martina McBride

      Mom’s rule.  That is a literal statement in many households.  I decided to take mom to church today in hope for some much needed grace.  I had been to this church before and we were running a little late, this combined with I don’t hang with my mom often caused some distraction. I pulled into what I thought was my church only to find we were trapped in what was like a traffic jam on hwy 40 during rush hour. I had prematurely turned into a lot that was not connected to ‘my’ church. It was right off Mid Rivers Mall Dr still, but suddenly I had the feeling I was at a Busch Stadium parking lot with people flooding in like it was Miley Cyrus Bobble-Head night.     

     It was right at 9am on Mother’s Day Sunday and I began to retreat to to go to my regular church. I use ‘regular’ very loosely here.   But then I was like, ‘could ALL these people be wrong?’ I mean, maybe they were sacrificing a virgin today or wearing those pagan masks like in the movie Dragnet?  I definitely am not a bandwagon guy, but I would attend a virgin sacrifice once, I mean can it be more uncomfortable than a guy doing karaoke to I Will Survive at a friend’s Halloween Party?  I will check anything out once.   So we anticipatingly entered a different House of God, Calvary Church.   Upon entering, I thought we were at The Family Arena for a Pearl Jam re-visit.   The music was very enjoyable to me and transcended the BLAH of regular church.   It was a cross between rock and roll and country music.  Like Jason Aldean meets Bryan Adams and with FREE ADMISSION.       It was exciting with stadium seating and people moving in their seats(without masks).  

     If you have not been to church (or synagogue) recently I would encourage you to go.    Times have changed.   It is NOT your dad’s (or mom’s) church anymore.     The leader had on jeans and sandals and played a guitar.    This was a far cry from the robed pastor and communion ceremony I had remembered from my youth.    The songs were about hope, love, and forgiveness of our screw ups (even the big ones).    In between the riffs, the massive video screens went to people reflecting on their Moms.   One guy told about how his mom was at the end of her rope one day.   Mom was depressed trying to raise 3 kids and he was 8 yrs old (at the time) and all he could do was hold her and dry her tears.    Mom prayed and never gave up faith in God to help the family through the suffering.    This now grown man was brought to tears in present time when he described walking to the mailbox one day and bringing mom a stack of past due bills but also a check from the Dept of Revenue for $5,000 in back child support.  

     I know you may think Loan Officers don’t have a heart.  But I was brought to tears when another guy spoke about how his mom never ironed his shirts because she didn’t have the time or the money.  She would run them through the dryer just before school to help fluff out the wrinkles.   As a boy he only thought his mom loved him SO MUCH she wanted him to have a warm shirt every day.   They were all very sweet and touching stories.   Yet simple.    Effective Mothering is not measured by the school your child goes to or whether you can convince the coach to give your child more playing time.   It’s about the small things you do EVERYDAY to make your child feel safe and loved.    The lessons you teach and how you react to the static in your own life.  

     Yes moms rule.    They are not always cool.   In fact, by definition they cannot be (not always).   They make us better, strive for more than they had and more than we are willing to accept.  They give us discipline and tough love, while showing us mercy and unconditional love.   They want the best for us and THEY SACRIFICE SO MUCH FOR US.    When we don’t make it, they kiss our tears.    When we succeed, they are the first to hug us.    This is life as I understand it, God has given the power of the Universe to Mom’s.    What will you do with your Power?  Best of Luck!

     The Church I went to was Calvary Church (St Peters, MO) and it truly was an Awesome experience.   I will be going there again and maybe donning my Aerosmith t-shirt.  I’ll call Ticketmaster and camp out for the front row like we used to for Riverport and the Old Arena.   Thank you Mom for your big part in my life.   And Thanks to you Calvary Church.    So many people were not wrong!     Thank God for missed turns in the road.      

In Grace through Faith,

Kyle D. Weaver, Sr. Loan Officer, Cornerstone Mortgage 636-399-1692

     Ok so here we are today 24 hrs from tax credit burnout.   So many what ifs and buts that we drive ourselves crazy nuts and we wish had done things differently.   We should have flipped a house last Novemver when they announced the tax credit b/c houses are selling like wild fire today,  we should have bought a multifamily for cash flow.  Those of us in the biz wish we did more advertising.    We have regret in our personal lives and also our real estate/investment lives.   We cannot dwell on the past.   Instead, let’s get rich off of our past.       Our past mistakes and mistakes of others around us.   

     Trust me…Every mistake has been made, we just need to notice our nighbors screw ups and not repeat it (Isn’t one of the ten commandments- Learn From Thy Neighbor??).  The problem I see in my own life and the results I have seen is people fail to reach out to professionals and they risk it all on a double down at the blackjack tables.     St. Louis is such a great place for success TODAY in Real Estate Investing.    Start making a list of everyone you know that can give you insight and discuss your plan with them.      Maybe even invite them for dinner.   The hundred dollars you spend gaining knowledge will save you thousands in mistakes and lost time.    Of course I like to eat so I mention this. 

    Real Estate Investing is like driving at age 16 .    Remember when you first went to drivers ed?   You had to look to the left and then to the right, and then to the left again.    You buckled up and had both hands on the wheel and you never exceeded the speed limit.    You have got to make the right choices with real estate  just like then with driving.     Here are 4 keys in short buzz words:   Speed, Style, Detail, and Flow

SPEED – When you want to stop the boat you drop an anchor.     Your property is a business and things that slow you down will KILL your business.    Your workers need to know the time constraints involved.  If they cannot finish on schedule, they need to work weekends.   If they still fall behind, they need to work Holidays. You can bring wine and bread and some easter eggs to them on Easter Sunday.  Failure cannot be an option.   If you keep staying with losers you become a loser.    At the first sign you have to drop bad people.   They will make excuses, exhaust you, and drain your energy.   Eventually, you will stay up late writing a blog about how bad they suck.     Keep with SPEED.  Pay for SPEED.   Love the SPEED. 

STYLE – Style sells.    This is more of a finishing job but you have to consider it at the blueprint/pre-construction stage.   Is ceramic necessary? fans? real hardwoods? vanity, tub, kitchen style?    The style needs to match your goal.  If your goal is FLIPPING for max profits you want max style.    Fancy sells, Ugly rents.    I had a multi-family once that I was renting to Section 8.    Mistakenly, I had ceramic tile and ceiling fans.    I should have paid less for the floor and left out ceiling fans.    Ceiling fas are just one thing that as a landlord you have to repair when needed.    If you are flipping, kitchens and baths are great selling points.    Have matching towels, new hardware and faucets, clean, clean, clean….Nice lighting fixtures, new carpet, and paint are cheap ways to freshen with style!

DETAIL – It is said the Devil is in the details.    I hate the devil.   I hate having 3 electricians do the same job.  I have having quasi plumbers do quasi work.  Trust me, I’m not going to quasi kick your butt out of my house, I will do it with no permit needed.   You can no longer trust people, you trust RESULTS.  You need the FINISHED PRODUCT. You don’t PAY until you get that.   Certain repairs require permits.   Get them or risk pulling off the drywall you just put up and going back to square one and lose your SPEED. Your realtor should know this but they probably do not; assume they do not.    Do not be afraid to call the big time realtors in the area you are buying in.    They all will give you FREE info.    In exchange for putting you in their database they will sit down with you and spend time.    Use their time and you can still use your realtor.     Consult with the town or city offices for details.   Me not calling a stud realtor in the city cost me $15,000 in a tax abatement I could have passed onto the Buyer of a property.    My Realtor did not know since they worked in the county. 

FLOW -  This applies to the flow of work being done and also the flow of the physical structure.   This is your business and should be taken not as a hobby.    If you are doing a large project, break it down in DETAIL.    Do all the drywall.    Then do ALL the Mudding.   Then all the taping.    These f-ing contractors hate to finish their “jobs.”  They love to leave it at 95% and keep their jobs for the next day.  Then they drag the last 5% for the ENTIRE next day.    They get there at 11am and leave at 4:30pm.     You have to babysit them and fire them when it comes to that.    It is like an unhealthy relationship with a significant other.   You have to say goodbye to abusive people in your life.    You are better than this.  Keep the flow of work and your schedule.  When you expect the best, you often get it.    Everyday should have a goal and when the mud is put away, it should not be brought out again.    When the painting is done, it should be done.  No more buying paint brushes, etc.  

       If your FLOW is not good you will lose time, money in extra materials, and you will lose your mind.    People will come in and out of your house to prospect it for rent or purchase.   If it is in disarray, you will not sell it.    DO NOT GIVE second chances to people who do not respect you and respect your property.     I have seen candy bars with ants crawling and soda cups with mold on a job site.    I made him finish both before I paid him.   You think I’m kidding?

      FLOW also applies to your physical structure.    Do you have transition pieces down that go well from room to room.   Are the fixtures uniform in color with the handles and the lamps/fans.   Is it clear what function each room is for?

     If you want to get into Real Estate investing who should you speak with?   You will definitely want to speak with a realtor who has been around the block.    Everyone has a specialty.    But be careful.   Make the person accountable for you after the sale.  Let them know you expect follow up and you are going got ask them to go above and beyond their job scope FOLLOWING the transaction.    The good people in real estate treat each “deal” as a relationship and NOT just a transaction.    Be upfront and ask them what they will do to make sure you do not fall on your face.   

I hope this is helpful.   There are tax credits you can receive for rehabbing houses.   You are making this city better and you are helping people.  That is why I love my job as Sr. Mortgage Advisor for Cornerstone Mortgage.    I can be reached @ 636-399-1692 or @ kweaver@cornerstonestl.com  for further discussion. 

“the stone the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.”

Ok so this is my second blog and still nothing about my loan business. My coach keeps telling me, “if you want to let them know what you do you have to tell them, over and over again!!” I really don’t feel like going over the fact that yes I love doing loans for people and getting the tax credit and I get an awesome feeling sitting across the table when the keys are being handed over to a first time homebuyer..blah, blah, blah… Do you really care if I got 2 people into homes in one day last week,..that is $16,000 in tax credit $$ in one day. Afterall, YOU are paying for the tax credits, right, I mean aren’t we just paying the money out from the kitty we all contribute to?
Enough of loans for now..let’s talk about something important. I was able to spend some quality time with my 2 girls the other day and I wanted to tell you about it. I actually wrote about it in verse so here is my shareage for your immaculate consumption;

some days you don’t get to see your pop
sometimes just for pancakes
and a glass of milk at IHOP
but we can hold eachother as we eat
like we”ll never wanna stop, and it will always be my treat

a kiss after each bite we take
and we can make a memory
on my cell phone
for each picture that we take

drown  our sorrow with syrup and powdered sugar
do what u LOVE doing the most
You will always be my beloved
and I will give in to your request for extra
bacon and french toast

and I can drown out the world
when you look at me like u do
because I am unbreakable
sitting in between the two of you…

OK..that was quick and I couldn’t work the orange juice into the lyric.. but things don’t always work out like they should or per plan. Just pick up the pieces and love who you need to RIGHT NOW! Lift your head and look up and God will point to you… Just hope he doesn’t give you the finger.

     Let me first state that I cannot afford psychotherapy though I may need it. I may have correct grammer or may not. I may put the dishes in the dishwasher or leave them out. Either way, life goes on for me and it should go on for you. One of the worst things that can happen to me these days is when I catch a cold on the night before karaoke. Dealing with this right now.

     When you want to sing so bad but you can’t, because you suck so bad to begin with, and sucking while being ill is like a jackhammer in a broom closet, or even worse, you sound like Bob Dylan. Things are tough right now..I aint gonna lie…But I am better off than many and that’s a fact. So are you.
The title of this blog is a song from Cat Stevens. It’s about a boy who never knows his dad b/c dad works all the time.. Then when the son grows up and dad is like, “hey son, let’s hang out.” his son replies (paraphrasing), “dad, too busy to hear about your gout and my bad parenting skills.”
       I was describing my relationship with my kids to a friend. And he turns to his wife and says, “cats in the cradle” and I was like “nah you d’int. I went to Itunes and bought the song…ok I lied www.limeware.com is FREE.. Much to my chagrin, I had turned into a Man like my Old Man living/workin for The Man.
Stevie Nicks always likes to put something at the end of her songs to say there is hope. I love Stevie and she loves me albeit unconsciously. Doing this blog is a good thing for me. All day long we can do what we want. I challenge you today to do what you should, and put to the side what you want. Until the wants and the shoulds are the same like the trees and the woods. So go and call your dad and tell him you love him. Because all people (and cats) deserve LOVE, and over the counter Claritin.

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